Wishlist | Valentine's Day for Him

Let me start off by saying that I'm pretty much obsessed with all things men's fashion. Bonus points if those "all things" resemble anything worn on Suits or Madmen. Honestly, if I had the means and the opportunity I wouldn't hesitate to open a men's boutique. A well dressed | accessorized man = a major turn-on. 

With that said, creating this wishlist was so much more fun than doing the "for her" version. Giving your guy a gift he's genuinely excited about is always a major win in my book so when this list received the "G seal of approval" I was beyond. 

Below are great, classic gifts that extend beyond Valentine's Day to birthdays, Christmas, etc. not only for the main man in your life but for your brother, dad and best friend too ... (or yourself - I mean really, these sunglasses and that phone case are amazing.)

Leather Flask from J.Crew | iWood iPhone 5 Case from Miniot | The New York Times 36 Hours: 150 Weekends in the USA & Canada | Haystack Wood Sunglasses from Shwood | Men's Engravable Wallet from Leatherology ... I've purchased the slim bifold as a gift in Italian leather and it is seriously beautiful | Glenn Chukka in "Dark Gull Grey" by Cole Haan | Pink Coral Men's Skinny Tie by APRILLOOKshop ... Every single thing on this Etsy shop is amazing, skinny ties and bow ties in brilliantly-colored chambray ... I mean really | Slim-Fit Non-Iron Mini-Gingham Shirt by Banana Republic

Bootie Call | Anthropologie Swoon

Chunky Booties are the ultimate: season-less | versatile | flattering. I love that I can wear the same pair of booties in the Winter with tights & a sweater-dress as I do in the Summer with a flowy top & J.Crew chino shorts. Not only are they a staple to carry season-to-season, but they are the perfect shoe to be dressed up for professional wear or dressed down for a casual run to Target. I carry a great deal of muscle definition in my calves, so the heel height and cutoff of heeled-booties gives me clear ankle definition and makes my calves look a bit more ... ahem, feminine. I'm absolutely swooning over these four pair of booties from Anthropologie { all with the exclusion of the lace pair, made of 100% leather, making them a great investment! }

Work | Tallulah Crochet Booties

{ Pair with: Cognac leather pencil skirt + chambray button-down }

Dinner | Aria Suede Shooties

{ Pair with: Dark skinny jeans or jeggings + loose-fitting embellished top }

Concert | Covered Bridge Shooties

{ Pair with: Distressed boyfriend jeans + easy-fit white v-neck or graphic tee }

Errands | Trotter Buckle Booties

{ Pair with: Black leggings + oversized sweater in the Winter & a feminine sundress in the Summer - I love pairing girly dresses with masculine boots! }

Shut Up, Get Up, & Do Something About It | A Rant

Please excuse me as I venture on to have the biggest Monday b*tch rant you've ever heard.

There are a few types of people: people that are dealt a bad hand and accept it, people that are dealt a bad hand and do something about it, and people that are dealt a bad hand and complain about it. I'm fairly positive that my number one pet peeve of all time is when people complain endlessly about things within their locus of control.

It's human nature to complain. College is expensive, no job pays enough, taking out the trash sucks and I'm fairly positive no one likes to work on a Monday. But, what I absolutely cannot tolerate is when someone endlessly complains about circumstances with solutions - as if sympathy is going to solve their problem.

Mind you, I am a very 'identify problem - find solution' person and this may sound harsh (I don't care.) Respectfully, there are plenty of circumstances where "it's not that easy" applies - but, what is easy is taking a step in the right direction. We are all fighting battles and it is each of our own responsibility to do something to move in the direction of bettering ourselves and our position. No one expects you to solve all of your problems, but people respect you for making an honest effort.

There is absolutely nothing that you can do to change the balls that are thrown in your court - it's what you do with them. You can either stand there like a dodge ball target or play like Michael Jordan. Without a shadow of doubt there is always a way to a solution if you take things with a grain of salt, one day at a time. If you want to make a change, accomplish a goal ... the first step is getting out of bed and making the decision to make a change, you will get nowhere with simply wishing or constantly having someone 'save' you. Eventually, people will stop giving you sympathy. Eventually, people will stop helping you.Small steps and big leaps both get you up the stairs, but you have a higher chance of tripping and falling when you're moving too fast to the top. Start small.

For example:

Complaint #1: I'm broke

Well, do you have job? Assuming you do, let's start there. Even if it's not what you want to do for the rest of your life, a superior position looks better on a resume and bonus - you'll make more money. You're not going to get promoted based on seniority, you're not going to get promoted just by doing what you're doing. You cannot expect to get promoted if you outshine your coworkers on a seldom basis. Never expect, start small. Start by going in a little bit earlier, then start going above and beyond in your work, then (after your efforts have become habits) have a sit down with your boss about your career path and interest in moving up in the company. It all starts with one small step - going in a little bit earlier. If you don't have a job, I really don't want to hear you complain. There is always a job, even if it's not glamorous and not the job you want. You can't be picky, you're broke.

Complaint #2: My boyfriend sucks

Breaking up isn't easy, but it's possible. I feel like break-ups last forever. You break-up, you're back together, you break-up, you're back together, but you eventually reach a point where you know getting back together isn't going to work, the attraction has disappeared, and you know you deserve better. I will give you sympathy for the first three to six months - I get it, break-ups suck. During my last breakup I had this fabulous friend give me fabulous advice: She told me she (a) didn't want to hear about it anymore and (b) I needed to cut him off from all social media outlets / forms of communication... it worked. As with complaint #1, start small. If you do everything at once you'll rebound and go back to him. First, block him off all social media. You'll have no idea what he's doing or who he's doing. You know what that leaves you with? Nothing to talk to him about. Out of sight, out of mind. Eventually, texting will get boring. If you cannot resist the urge, block his number. Recruit a friend that agrees to text you all hours of the night and day to keep you occupied, feel free to text her 20 times in a row - it's not crazy if you warned her. It all started with one small step - blocking him on Instagram.

Complaint #3: I hate my body

First off, there is no realistic standard for weight. If my 6+ foot tall mother had my 5'4" frame, she would die. I don't think anyone should focus on a number. I think everyone should focus on being the healthiest possible version of themselves, not the thinnest. I just wanted to lay that disclaimer out there before anyone jumped on me for being superficial. When I hit 19 and my hips grew out 6 inches, I was the happiest girl on the block. Curves are beautiful, being happy with yourself is beautiful. If you are happy with what you see, don't change a thing. With that said, I am a thin individual - not unhealthy, I'm just small. This is due to genetics AND effort. I don't go to the gym every day and I do eat dessert every night, but I don't complain about my body and do nothing about it. I made the decision a long, long time ago what "healthy" for my body was and with the exclusion of weeks that I have been medically unable to do so have worked out 3 - 7 times per week. It is so frustrating when I hear someone complain about their weight / body and watch them continue to not workout and maintain their eating habits. So you have 20lbs to lose, you can either accept it, which is fine, but don't complain about it. If you expect immediate results, you'll go back to your habits. As with common complaint 1 and 2, start small. If you cannot run, walk. Eventually you'll be able to run. If you cannot cut out sweets, don't. Just have them in moderation. Every marathon starts with someone putting their running shoes on. Take small steps to reach your goal, but don't complain about it if you don't feel like getting off your ass.

Wishlist | Valentine's Day for Her

Last year was my best Valentine's Day to-date (there is quite an expectation to uphold) - I mean, I got all dressed up, walked into a house full of rose-petals, got cooked for, devoured a dessert platter and got  obliterated off Smirnoff ice's in the hot tub - can we say cliche perfection?

Anyway, I cannot get enough of the cutesy-girly product launches around Valentine's Day. I mean, yes, Valentine's Day is a very superficial Hallmark holiday - I celebrate love every day! But - nevertheless, I am totally for a day where calories don't count, I will definitely get flowers and I get to get dolled up #win. 

Here is a totally "accidentally-left-my-browser-open" worthy Valentine's Day wishlist that you may or may not want to pull up and leave open on your boyfriend's iPad (you're welcome.)

Kate Spade "Gumballs" iPhone 5 Case | Yogitoes The ONE Mat Towel | Lululemon "Energy" Bra in Bleached Coral / Guava Lava - I have this in black and it's honestly the best sports bra I've ever owned | Rebecca Minkoff "Jody A-Z" Leather Pouch in Scarlet | Banana Republic "Knot" Bracelet | Givenchy Thin Pavé Bangle in Gold | Stace "Ikat Do It Red" Socks | Leatherology Earbuds Holder in "Red Apple" | Kade Spade "Be Mine Carousel" Bracelet Watch

5 Ways Relax & Unwind | My Vaca & Go-Tos

This past week I've been completely not myself (I'd like to think this is caused by the fact I've been sleeping on my living room couch for two weeks because my room is covered in sawdust & ahem, hormones for this ... in addition to some personal stressors going on.)

I was emailing a girlfriend and casually said, "I seriously need a vacation and some yoga." Then it hit me, I do a lot of little things for myself (like, buy a new top or go get my eyebrows done) but never any "big" things. It's about damn time I do a "big" thing! So, I went home and made a decision. I got off at 4:00pm and by 4:30 my boyfriend and I had booked a week-long cruise to Mexico & The Grand Cayman over my birthday. The next day, I marched my butt over to my favorite hot yoga studio and bought myself a year-long membership. 

I've always done yoga here & there (my mom being a notoriously, ridiculously talented yogi) but have never bought myself a membership because it was simply too expensive. This membership & this cruise was costly (the blow lessened by government rates ... ) but I decided that it was in the best interest of my health and sanity to make a conscious effort to do something, for me, to relax. For me, it's worth it.

While I'm counting down the days to my week of Bahamian relaxation (76 to be exact) I've decided to truly commit to taking more time for myself and r e l a x i n g. Here are a few simple ways to make the most out of "you" time.

Read a book
I'm ashamed of myself, I never read. I maybe get through a book a year. But I've wanted to start! I'm absolutely obsessed with the movie The Wolf on Wall Street so I can only imagine how engrained I would be at the book (I know book-before-movie critics are cringing.)

Have a spa night, obviously
Essie polish & Philosophy body wash / bubble bath make for ultimate relaxation. Try this shade "Sable Collar" and scent "Pink Frosted Animal Cracker". Throw in your favorite face mask for the ultimate experience.

Get shamelessly wrapped up in a Netflix drama
I won't judge you if you finish the entire season of Orange is the New Black in one night  (and then re-watch it three weeks later - #WhereIsSeasonTwo)

Go on a run
There is nothing more relaxing than a run with a good playlist. Not a run where you're trying to beat a personal record, time or pace ... a run where you're just running to run - whether it's for five minutes or sixty I always feel infinitely more relaxed. Cute running shoes don't hurt either, ASICS GEL-Noosa.

Make something delicious off Pinterest, for yourself
Cooking is my ultimate source of zen. It's really rewarding to put a lot of hard work into something & it turns out perfectly. Your nights should not be limited to lean cuisines and peanut butter sandwiches (guilty) ... treat yourself to something fancy! Don't these Baked Egg Tarts from Apron Strings Blog look incredible?! #CravingBreakfastforDinner

Sweet & Savory Sunday | Sweet Potato + Kale Soup

Today seriously sucked and called for some major girl time + comfort food. I had a cup of kale & sweet potato soup from Whole Foods' hot bar for lunch today and I was soooo obsessed I pinterested for more. This soup wasn't cheap to make ($24.00 and I already had some of the ingredients) but, as I told the woman swiping my card at the grocery store, "This better be the best damn soup I have ever made" - and thankfully, the culinary God's were listening and it definitely was. 

The recipe:

Sweet Potato, Sausage & Kale Soup from Gimme Some Oven

I was using a roughly 6 quart Le Creuset French Oven and the recipe at Gimme Some Oven yields much more than that, so I made some minor adjustments to the recipe. I generally prefer a heartier, less-liquidy soup anyway, so it turned out just fine. 

• I used 48oz of lower-sodium chicken stock versus 64oz
• 2 lbs of sweet potatoes is roughly 2.5 large sweet potatoes, which takes up way too much bulk in the pot. Instead, I used (roughly) 1.8 large sweet potatoes, skin-on
• I used Aidell's all natural spicy mango with jalapeño chicken sausage
• I used Barilla veggie rotini

The Result:

This will definitely be a new staple in my kitchen and a healthier go-to when I'm craving some heartier comfort food. With that whole healthier comment said - I'm off to go top this meal off with some blueberry cheesecake ice-cream with a girlfriend. #OnSundaysWeEatOurFeelings

Thought Provoking Thursday | Permanence is a Privilege

I've been in a lot of relationships - possibly too many relationships for my age. I've had a lot of 'boyfriends' but only three I would put on the books (sorry if you're reading this and you got shafted.) I'm not kidding, I have had a boyfriend almost constantly for seven (plus) years.

No, I do not have a complex. No, I do not need a man. No, I do not have low self-esteem. Yes, I've been in a few relationships for all the wrong reasons. Yes, in the past I probably have had both low self-esteem and a complex. Yes, I prefer (in most cases) being in a relationship versus not. Yes, I have my own self-identity.

There are a few things that I've figured out through heartbreak, heart-breaking and years of constantly having a boy attached to my hip, and living with two (one I would prefer to not count, but for the sake of my integrity, honesty, and open-book policy of my blog, I will.) The most important of which is what is healthy versus what is toxic.

As far as relationships are concerned, I'm the happiest I've ever been - with no hesitation or second-guessing. I have never been in a relationship where effort is so apparent, where laughter is so natural and intentions are so honest. It's not about the fact that the only reason my car hasn't died out is because he's the one who takes my car in for routine maintenance, it's not about him satisfying each and every 3AM York peppermint patty craving or him giving me (and my friends) better pedicures than the women at 'Nails Only' in the shopping center by my house (I'd like to thank his mother for this one.)

It's because he respects me in the most genuine manner. It's because he thinks I'm equally as beautiful in a face full of makeup as he does covered in zit cream because although beauty (and booty) is a bonus, we would be nothing without emotional and mental compatibility. It's because we can both let our imaginations run wild when we try to imagine what the music video to our favorite songs would entail (are we the only ones that imagine the song "Five Years Time" to have dancing paper narwhal whales dancing about ... no? ... maybe?) It’s because our future goals mesh seamlessly, and because he constantly pushes me towards aggressively following my crazy dreams (who says I cannot be a fashion buyer and blogger with six kids and a breakfast restaurant.) It's because he constantly encourages me to be the best woman I can be, but loves me at my worst. It's because he can differentiate the moments in which I need time and the moments in which I need to be smothered. It's because when I pour my bad moods out on him he responds with "Get dressed, we're going on a date" instead of fueling the fire. It's not because we don't argue, because we do - it's because we can argue and laugh at the same time. It's because he accepts that I will never put away Tupperware containers in the appropriate, organized fashion and forgives me without apology for giving him endless shit about losing a birth certificate that was later located, exactly where he thought it was. Most importantly, it's because we both know no love has the guarantee of holding permanence.

In a conversation with a girlfriend about the traditionalism and sanction of marriage and relationships what we realized is this: whether you live together, have children together, or get married your relationship is no more permanent (sadly) than it would be otherwise. If you live together, one of you could always move out. If you have children together, you have the legal liberty of parenting separately.  If you're married, you can get a divorce. There is nothing that we can do about our generation's habit of 'walking away' other than treat our significant others as exactly that - as if permanence is a privilege.

In the past, with friends and relationships alike I've underappreciated and overlooked - then it hit me. I've had to be treated badly to recognize and appreciate being treated well. I've had to be the cheated and the cheater (not recommended) to realize games have no home in healthy relationships. I used to spend more time bitching and complaining and less time saying 'thank you.' I'm absolutely not blaming myself for the ending of all my previous relationships (trust me) - but, it has me thinking, if everyone acts this way is it really so surprising that nothing is permanent?

I've made it a personal challenge, my mission to re-invent the concept of commitment, to friendships and relationships alike. To expect less, say 'thank you' more, to shut my mouth and listen more, to give more than I get, to smile more than I complain. Accept the best of the moment and know that the future of a friendship and relationship has no guarantee - if you treat someone like they won't walk away, they will. If you evoke positivity and appreciativeness onto the ones you love, your positivity will bring happiness. Happiness, not manipulativeness is what creates permanence.

Six on the Sixth | 6 Ways to Start Living Fearlessly in 2014

I'm a planner - type a, all the way. Fearlessness is not my forte (& neither is following my own advice.) Now, you won't be seeing me drop everything and moving across the world anytime soon - but here are 6 ways YOU can live fearlessly in 2014.

1. Drop everything and move across the world (or the country)

I have a handful of friends who have actually done this. Sick of where you live? Do something about it. Feel like seeing the world? Make it happen. Sell your car, buy a ticket and go. If not forever, for a year or two. I'm perfectly content where I am and although I've thought about moving somewhere tropical and amazing, I'll stick to living vicariously through those who do. But, that's not to say you shouldn't! The idea of moving somewhere where no one knows you & having to make all new friends both terrifying AND thrilling ... and definitely fearless.

2. Pursue a hobby & make it known

I will commit to something better if I tell the world about it. Even if the world doesn't care, I've set an expectation to meet. I wanted to make this blog my hobby, so I started posting it on Facebook. If you want to run a marathon but can't run a mile, go buy yourself some running shoes, running gear, download an app and pick a race you want to run in the future, start training and tell all of your friends. 

3. Fall in love really hard, really fast

Everyone tells you to "take it slow" when it comes to relationships - but why? If it feels right, run with it. Move at your own pace - even if it's 10,000 mph. The absolute worst thing that can happen is it doesn't work out. Why not run off and take a road trip with some guy you just met last weekend ... sure he could be an ax murderer, but he could also be the future love of your life.

4. Completely change your life path.

Girl majors in finance and obtains a bachelor's degree. Girl interns at three stock brokerage firms. Girl obtains master's degree in finance. Girl passes CPA and CFA exams. Girl lands accountant job with a $75,000 starting salary. Six months later girl realizes she hates finance and would rather teach special education. Who cares if you've spent 6 years in school, three summers interning and one summer studying. If you're not satisfied, make a change in pursuit of your happiness.

5. Move actively towards a seemingly unreachable goal.

When I was 16 I decided I wanted to have a six-figure salary by age 25. Is it going to happen? Probably not - I'm happy at the company I work for and know it's going to be a very, very long time before I reach that goal. WITH THAT SAID - making this goal inspired me to get a good job, do my best to excel and try harder in school. Whether your goal is financial or something like writing and publishing a book, make a plan and work towards it. Nothing is truly impossible.

6. Post a shameless selfie.

Fight the fear of rejection. Selfies are not narcissistic ... they are empowering (if seldom posted.) A fantastic outfit / hair / makeup day deserves documentation. Boxing up your hotness is selfish. You know you look good, so share it with the world. #yougogirl

Rug Inspired | Gold + Boho Home Wishlist

I've been living on my own for a while, and in these past few years - I've learned A LOT. For example: (1) Dishwashing soap doesn't double as dishwashing detergent (2) Always check pockets for pens before loading your washing machine (3) Magic erasers are God's gift to mankind ... I could go on. I'm adding one more lesson to the list, if there is one thing you're going to splurge on - make it a wool rug. I bought an area rug from a wholesale home warehouse a few months ago knowing it wouldn't last forever, but hoping I could get a few good years out of it ... false. My poor decision making (do I hear someone saying "I told you so" in my ear?) has led me on the search for the perfect WOOL rug. After two hours googling and pinning, a love affair has began (with pretty much Kilim anything) and my next big purchase has been established. Karter Kilim Rug from Pottery Barn, you will be mine. Sneak-a-peek at my rug-inspired wishlist!

Threshold Ombre Glass Lamp Base - Gully Gold from Target. Dog Breed Gold Foil Personalized Dog Print by FireHydrantPress. His & Hers Pillow Covers by ZanaProducts. Lyndhurst Celadon Green Paint by Valspar. SONOMA Life + Style Burke Accent Table from Kohls. Food Network Fontina 4-pc Place Setting - White from Kohls.